


Finite

by Anonymous



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Not Beta Read, be warned, im tired lawl, it is 1am, k goodnight, kinnie moment, mention of being locked in rooms and manipulation soooo, pls tell me if I need to tag anything else im going to bed, shuichi has abandonment issues, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:34:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28931085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: a vent fic
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 75
Collections: anonymous





	Finite

It had been thirty minutes, Shuichi realized since he had woken up. It was dark and quiet, the only thing breaking the silence was Kokichi next to him, mouth open in gentle snores. 

It was calming in its own way, which was good. He hadn’t had a particularly good dream that night. Then again, he never does. It’s always something that wakes him up and makes him feel more restless than when he passed out.

Shuichi doesn’t even remember falling asleep in his bed, which makes him nervous because that means someone put him there. Maybe it had been Momota or even Iruma. 

A quiet sigh. It’s not like they had done anything, his body wasn’t in any pain and he would’ve woken up if they had hurt him. It was ridiculous to even think that, they were his  _ friends _ . 

Kokichi said to tell him when he felt like this but...it all seemed so unimportant to tell him. It felt like he was overreacting, nearly everything that made Shuichi upset felt like that. 

A shift in the bed made him flinch slightly, which...that annoyed him too. Why did he always flinch at the slightest movements? It’s not like he was physically hurt often when he was younger, why did he flinch? 

A memory of Kokichi pressing his hand against Shuichi’s cheek, soft and gentle, eyes filled with adoration passed through. He was touched like that often now, so it made no sense. It was supposed to be okay. 

Shuichi glanced at the clock, frowning. 6:45 AM. It was early, so he should just go back to sleep. Or...or maybe he could do something for Kokichi, make sure he’s in good graces today. He has to be, otherwise, Kokichi might finally get mad and start hurting him or yelling. 

He pulled the blankets off and tip-toed to the kitchen. Breakfast might be a good idea, it definitely wasn’t a bad one. And Kokichi basically scarfed down anything edible, so it’s not like he had to worry about what to make. Shuichi was the picky one, now that the option to dislike a dish was there. 

A few moments of silence as he set out everything, deciding on the blueberry pancakes that Kokichi loves to fawn over. Kokichi himself had taught Shuichi how to make it, a long while before they had started dating.

They hadn’t been dating for long. A few months, maybe seven or nearing eight. The memory of Kokichi placing his hands on his cheeks before kissing him barges through his mind again, bringing a smile onto his face.

If he was with Kokichi, everything was fine. It was like it was all a dream. A bad one. 

Although, Kokichi did say pretending like it never happened wasn’t good either. Acting like the locked rooms and the threats weren’t real…

But he was just overreacting to all of it, he was doing just fine now. He was doing well. He didn’t want anything like that to be real. 

A frustrated sigh as he burned a pancake and he cursed his mind for wandering. He  _ needed _ to do this. If it wasn’t done right, then…

Maybe Kokichi wouldn’t like him anymore. If he wasn’t good for anything, useless at even something as simple as making breakfast, then maybe he  _ should _ toss him out. 

The thought makes his hands shake a little. Shuichi chews on his lip, his nails digging crescents into his palms. That would...just prove them right. Shuichi was lazy and incompetent and that proved he didn’t care. 

But he did, didn’t he? He did care, he cared he cared he cared-

His breath hitched and his frustration grew. He hadn’t even had a terrible life. He was clothed and fed and  _ who cared _ if they said some terrible things to him? What did it matter if they hit him, that was a punishment and he had  _ deserved it _ . 

He just cried over every little thing, they were right about that. Stupid silly things that he should be over. That’s what was expected, wasn’t it? Learn from punishment and  _ never do it again. _

“Shuichi?” Kokichi’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. His voice was quiet and raspy, which means he had just woken up. Shuichi had finished with the pancakes, at least.

“Hi, Ouma,” Shuichi said with a strained smile. It was all fine, just...don’t make him mad. His patience will run out eventually. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but one day. 

People's love always ran dry, Shuichi had learned. That was something he had learned from them. Though Shuichi thought he had enough love for Kokichi for the rest of the time, Kokichi could grow tired of him. 

Maybe he should run away before that ever even happens. The thought sits heavy in his mind for a moment. Kokichi would get over him eventually. He’d find someone new and someone who wasn’t constantly begging for love and attention.

“‘Ouma’?” Kokichi echoed. “Haven't called me that in a while.” Kokichi clicks his tongue thoughtfully before turning on the coffee maker...Kokichi didn’t drink coffee. “For you. I think you forgot.” Kokichi explained when he saw Shuichi’s curiosity. 

“I guess so…” Shuichi murmured. “Thank you, Ouma.” 

“Don’t mention it Shu-i-chi~” Kokichi sang his name before walking over, wrapping his arms around his waist slowly and resting his head between Shuichi’s shoulder blades.

Shuichi couldn’t help but feel a little sad. These moments were few and finite, destined to end because that’s just how things were. 

“I’m not going to leave you,” Kokichi murmured. 

He’s been lied to about things like this. He was tired of being lied to. Shuichi knows how people work, he won’t let himself be manipulated  _ again _ . Once he doesn’t have use he’ll be thrown out. 

“I love you…” Kokichi reminded gently. “You don’t owe me a backstory or anything. You don’t even owe me this, Shuichi.” His arms held him a little tighter like he was afraid to let go. “But I’m not going to hurt you.”

Shuichi shook a bit at his words, his lip quivering.

“I don’t know who did hurt you, but whatever happened...it was wrong. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that.”

It was wrong… and he didn’t deserve it? But that… 

“I don’t know how to make it better,” Kokichi admitted. “I’m not a therapist, but I am your boyfriend, y’know? I love you, and I won’t stop loving you.” 

“I’m not...I’m not doing anything wrong, am I?” Shuichi asked quietly. “You aren’t going to get mad at me?” 

“No, you haven’t done anything wrong. If you did I would’ve told you, you can’t fix anything if you aren’t told.” Kokichi said. “I’m not going to hate you just because you make a mistake, either. That’s shitty and horrible. ”

“I’m sorry, I just…” 

“Don’t worry about it, Shu.” Kokichi hummed. “You should probably talk to someone though. I can only do so much.”

“I-I know,” Shuichi murmured. “I’m a little tired right now, I guess. I just started thinking.” 

“Mmm, I gotcha. Well, you should get some food in you and then get some rest. Maybe you’ll feel better.” Kokichi peeked over his shoulder, smiling. “I’m totally down to cuddle all day! You can be the little spoon since I love you so much!” 

“Thank you..” 

After their breakfast, Kokichi dragged him back to sleep. He holds Shuichi like he might slip away at any moment, but it’s nice to be held. To be loved. 

As his eyes slip shut, he thinks maybe Kokichi’s love isn’t limited. Listening to the other boy snore, he falls asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> i think one of the worst parts is realizing it was wrong


End file.
